At sheringham paper, norfolk uk

@ Sheringham Community Paper - Issue 203 - 1st December 2017 - Final Edition


Well here we are the 203rd and last Hearsay!
Happy Christmas.
No this is not a merry aside to amuse my silly sense of humour, it is true, sadly this will be the last column I write and apart from one, I wrote every single one of them.

Still you know the old saying all good things come to an end and so this is it, the end.

I have to say that I have enjoyed every single bit of it, and was always humbled at the fact that so many folks around the world read this drivel on a regular basis. I suppose I had a Vic fan base so to speak. We have covered quite an array of subjects and humorous stories over the years and I guess those in authority and that should know better will always gaff and blunder at my /our expense, but that will be for someone else to chide about from now on.

Oh well best not get all maudlin about it, we must look to our futures and imagine what our lovely sunny Sheringham will be like in the years to come, especially as we are on the cusp of driverless cars era. Which is a little odd as from Monday the new driving test comes into force taking into account new driving techniques. I hope they will include Norfolk road driving with tips on how to overcome winter low sunlight dazzle. Visiting and local drivers alike have for years been at the butt of my consternation with their incessant reluctance to drive at the speed of the road. Not being a speeding motorist myself but the seemingly mandatory Sunday afternoon jaunt at no more that 25 miles an hour in a 60 zone does do your head in after a while.

So Driverless cars; beast or beauty? Well just imagine if you will, being able to put your little darling tots in a pod, pressing the button on the sat-nav and off they go automatically to school. No more frustrated Mums in Chelsea tractors that are ten times too big for the road having to wait for ages outside the primary school. Nor will they have to run the gauntlet that is affectionately known as the school run on the way, or as I call it the school crawl and brawl that so often happens when they clash with local residents who fight for the right to get out of their drives to drive their Nissan Micras to the paper shop to buy the latest edition of the Daily Mail.

What a relief that would be. No more stress. Just think of it. No need to have a driving test at all. All those jobs though that would be lost in the driving test industry! We could expect millions of little pods delivering little parcels for Amazon, the Post Office and at Xmas the Boy Scouts (Around here at least) everywhere.

We might expect the thousands of cyclists in Lycra might swap those tight slick costumes for plush interior self navigating vehicles that don’t ride three abreast on a country road without pulling over.

Where will it end with this new dawn of AI? Man-less ships, planes and taxis and supermarkets, God forbid even the hairdresser! We are at the cusp of time where machines make machines to provide free food and all manner of goods for mankind whilst mankind gets fatter and lazier. In the end the country might look like Sheringham’s High Street in mid summer! Ouch!

But seriously some of this might be scary but might be great as well, especially if they can finally create a robot that cleans the loo and does the ironing. We already have robots that turn on the lights, heating and our music in every room in the house. Only who knows how far we are off having one that lullabies the baby to sleep and remembers to put Gran’s teeth in soak as well as putting the cat out at night.

And on that note it really is good night and thank you for reading. It’s been a blast.

Thank you Mel for giving me credence and cart Blanche (well almost) on what gets published, for putting up with the late entries ‘cause I’d lost track of time (old age and poverty) and especially for the opportunity to do this in the first place all those years ago.

And last but not least thank you readers without whom none of this drivel would have been necessary.

So for that last time,

Take care now Vic x