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@ Sheringham Community Paper Issue No 13 - Friday 2nd May 2003 - Choose another issue
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Sheringham Community Paper Hello and welcome to hearsay No. 13. Unlucky for some you might say. Let's hope not eh? Well loads has been happening since last time I wrote, so without further ado I'll press on. As ever, Easter arrived and went, and for me it's a magical time to mark the coming of springtime and the ending of lent, especially for those of us who gave up booze and the dreaded cigarettes.
Perhaps also, it's a good time for confessionals as well, for those of us who are a little bit weaker of convictions than others. It was indeed a time for extra celebrations for those at Easter who had given up the endorphin releasing chocolate bars. On Easter Morning the orgy of "tapping and unwrapping" and scoffing into those countless calories could be heard across the land. Unless you were one of the few that braved the trek up Beeston bump for the "Cross" service each year, supposing that is, some lunatic hasn't chopped it down with a chain saw! The only problem with this religious time is that commercialism takes over and the rest of us have to pay the fiscal price. Generally by way of the many stores and countless business cashing in on the occasion. You see, I don't mind paying for the chocolate egg. It's the cost of the air inside the thing I object shelling out for. Shelling out for? Sorry Bad joke! Moving on. Now then, what's next? Oh yes, ever since the 5th of April we're all having to cough up a little bit more for the chancellor by way of National Insurance contributions. That's all of us tax paying mortals, and our respective employers too don't forget. Yes they too have to chip in as well! In fact me thinks with all that coughing up, I'll stand a good chance of winning a tidy sum on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" or at least a "major prize". Sorry couldn't help myself again. And anyway the punishment for those folk seemed pretty painless, considering they'd only tried to defraud the T.V. Company out of a million quid. If you ask me you're probably likely to get more of a severe sentence for being bound over for driving a motorised buggy with undue care and attention in Tescos, or on Sheringham's pavements, roads, parks, promenades, dog walking areas and all public places for that matter, where these folk scoot about in abundance, except our loos. Very few open to be found!

Of course in one's defence they could always complain that the loss of the hour's sleep incurred when the clocks went on was to blame for the momentary lapse in concentration. I swear I've gained a few more age lines since they changed. You know this anomaly of having to change the CLOCKS has always perplexed me. If indeed as I'm led to believe, that the powers that be, decided during the second world war to appease the farming community and the like to make the "wartime" production more productive. So why in heavens name when the war ended nigh on 60 years ago, do we still need to do it today? I still don't get why they changed the clocks at all. I mean if they were that hell bent on getting in those all important "daylight hours" in, why couldn't they have just gotten up a bit earlier instead of dragging us all out of bed with the larks? Mind you, the early to bed, early to rise troop are still very much in existence especially if you ever try to be the first one to enter a car-boot sale field at the crack of dawn of a Sunday morning. Or just try getting a parking space in the High Street at 8 am for that matter.

Yes it's official, the season has started. Our streets are beginning to fill with the meandering souls taking the decision which pub to go to for a spot of lunch, a gingerbeer shandy (if you're a twitcher) and a nice long smoke perhaps? The latter being the operative word the other week in the Windham Arms when their chimney did a bit more than spark. Certainly the two crews that attended were about as welcome as a bottle of cough syrup for the aforesaid mentioned game show. At least in that Street the double yellow lines on both sides of the road, allowed plenty of space for the fire engines to attend without hindrance. I take it that from now on anything smoked on the
menu is now to be recommended! Of course, a quick witted member of the Little Theatre staff might have been enticed to interrupt some of the proceedings at the recent E.G.M. with a timely smoke alarm to save some of the patrons from a 40 minute monologue or so. Some of the people had called for explanations as to the falling seat numbers in certain productions. Anyone ask about if the seats in row E were going to be greazed to enable people to fit I wonder? I'm led to believe although the evening was informative it seemed to leave more questions unanswered than answered.

Even more of an unanswered question is why in the "season" do certain holidaying folk appear on our streets in pink fluorescent lycra shorts that have clearly been sprayed on over a bulbous physique unbefitting their natural form. I find it extraordinary that some of the "roly- poly, jam and dumpling brigade" dig out their summer wardrobe before the spring flowers have even had a chance to be de-headed. This mainly comprises of (and I speak from painful experience) ice-creamed stained body-building vests, shell suit jogging bottoms at best, or tent sized shorts at worst. Combine this with the ever-wafting body odour, potent enough to attract a queen dung beetle from 40 miles away up wind and you have the perfect image of the grockle from hell. And just wait as the weather gets warmer out come the ladies shorts, bum bags and worst of all, grown trouser clad men in brown leather shoes with NO socks on that squelch down the high street. Sound familiar?

Of course I don't mean to belittle all of our well-loved visitors swarming in and out of every little crevice of our town, (and , please, no nasty letters from larger sized people, I don't mean it personally), they are after all our life-blood. But all I'm saying is that a certain form of creature from troglodyte land tends to invade us from time to time.

Well there you are, I thought this time I'd bring you up to date with the news. Albeit a little late. I hope you enjoyed it and all the best for now Vic.
GROCKLES' DAY AT
WINDHAM ARMS



Sheringham Community Paper

Hello, I am still looking for Laura Slegg last known of in the Sheringham area, by a mutual friend who has also lost touch.
Laura is about 46 yrs old and has a daughter called Sarah who would be about 19yrs old, Sarah's surname could be Powell or Slegg. My name is Alison Gibson but was Alison Milne, I lost contact with Laura when I left Colchester to live in Nottingham, I have since moved back to Colchester and would like to make contact with Laura again. Any one with any information can contact me at al-ian@ntlworld.com or phone on 01206 509744
Alternatively by mail at 41,Sycamore Road, Colchester, Essex CO4 3NS. Thank you in anticipation Alison Gibson
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