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@ Sheringham Community Paper Issue No 33 - Friday 20th February 2004 - Choose another issue
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Sheringham Community Paper Hello again good citizens of Sheringham. Yes it's me with this the 33rd issue of hearsay. Do you know I'm feeling about as chirpy as the NASA bursar who has just been promised a trillion-dollar windfall from Mr. Bush. That's a lot of cash! And (allegedly) so it was said, was not that far off what our own council might have needed to fight off the Big Tesco boys. Well yes this seems to be the news of the month.
And with the vote swinging in Tesco's favour there's plenty of seething S.C.A.M.R.O.D. members still willing to carry on with a "Let's paint the placard campaign"! I guess however, that the Tesco decision has now left the Budgens' plan for their store on our market car park about as dead as Mr. Shipman. Isn't it a shame that his last victim couldn't have been his first?

So here we are now well into 2004 and with the New Year, has come plenty of matters for topical debate which, I'm sure will keep some of you very busy in the pen department. If recent times have been anything to go by the next few months will be no exception. My feelings go out to Mr Oxenham in planning, who must have been kept very busy of late. Not only that but the post office must have done very nicely too thanks very muchly, out of a very large grocery chain, who sent a pleasant letter of gratitude to all those hundreds of supporters in favour of the new proposed store.

As, I am sure will be the case, this decision will add plenty to the council's coffers over the next few years in business rate charges. But alas, not enough to give respite to the rest of us. No, in fact we are just about ready to brace ourselves for those heavily hiked up rate charges to hit our doormats very shortly. Oh and dear me, not even the holiday homeowners will be exempt. My God things must be getting desperate! As these businessmen and women who let them out at 700+ a week will actually have to start paying the going rate that we, the folks that live here have been subsidising for years. Oh of course these poor hard up individuals will be getting a 10% discount to soften the blow. That's fine of course, only One wonders if the very same people would expect a 10% discount in service of care afforded to these properties by the police, fire brigade, street lighting and refuse collection that the rest of us enjoy whilst those folk are not in residence? Or do they? Me thinks you should be paying the full wack like the rest of us. After all, to my knowledge, the council takes a dim view on me when I suggest that they reduce my rates bill when I have my holidays whilst I'm not in residence here for a week or three. Ok then, wherever they live ordinarily, they like the rest of us mere local residents will soon have to put up with and find place(s) plural, for our new lovely wheelie bins. Oh ladies what fun you'll have washing and sorting out your useless smelly requisites that you no longer have any use for. And after you've finished with the old man you can make a start on the rubbish! Yes we'll all see a rise in the amount of time we take in sorting out our cans from card and tins from bottles to the thousand and one different types of plastic dairy product cartons. And then, once every fortnight, the happy, jolly bin men that you used to slip a fiver to at Xmas to dispose of that offending telly or vacuum cleaner during the year, will whistle a merry tune as they choose to remove just one of the two fully over-laden bins for disposal. After, of course you have checked it thoroughly, to make sure that granddad's teeth or a small child have not secretly, accidentally fallen inside. For those of us that produce predominantly more rubbish than others will have to dispose of any excess rubbish once the bin is full. Not unlike the town clock now?

However all is not lost, we are assured that this new endeavour will help to ensure the future of our planet and local environment.
And if you have shares in black plastic sack manufacturing I'd get out quick!  Yes we will no longer be required to sack and bin. Unless you're one of the hundreds of British Call Companies planning to move to India in the near future! So far I've talked about the contents, but what about their location? Many folk have the room but not I fear the inclination to position them in a contemporary manner. Many I fear will be positioned on the pavements as many of us leave for work and will leave the "putting back" to the fine chaps in command. However I can't but think that a substantial number of the offending articles will be left marooned in or on the roadside to be blown down to the nearest corner during a brisk north westerly. Great for raft race day or mobile doggy loos but not for the general use of the paying electorate. Now humour me here if you will while I digress slightly. A short while ago a lady wrote in asking me (Vic) if I had any ideas about the problem of dog fouling on the pavements. and to be quite frank that was a subject that I had always wanted to steer well clear of for obvious reasons. But for this once I'll make an exception, and to that lady I do apologise for not suggesting this sooner. It has just occurred to me that the answer to this pavement fouling is staring us in the face. Why it's obvious isn't it? We could place a wheelie bin on its side with the lid open. Attach a long piece of string to the open lid that is suspended. We hide round the corner out of sight after placing a painting of a pavement slab and a tuft of grass inside and wait. As soon as the little darling sniffs out a non-fouled area (they always choose the clean bit) we let go of the string, pounce on the bin lifting it upright. There you have it. One captured little sweetie in the act! All wrapped up and ready for recycling. And there you have another use for the trusty bin. Of course it may be slightly more problematical if the canine owner was still attached at the time of incarceration. But then again it would reduce the need for a poop-a-scoop. Just a shampoo and puff at the poodle parlour in Melbourne Road that's all. So with those thoughts I'd better leave you to it. As our Americans cousins would say " have a nice day " All the best Vic.
Sheringham Community Paper
Throw more 'fivers' on the fire, Jill.
It's too cold in here!!
Sheringham Community Paper
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