At Sheringham situated on the North Norfolk Coast in England UK - Our community newspaper online
@ Sheringham Community Paper Issue No 37 - Friday 11th June 2004 - Choose another issue
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Sheringham Community Paper Hello and welcome to another summer edition of hearsay.

Now pray excuse me whilst I give out a yell of jubilation and excitement, Hooray! And Yippee! And to finish this exultation, maybe a soccer song or two like “football’s comin’ home”. Oh I’m sorry, please don’t despair I haven’t gone totally gaga just yet, but I’m working on it!
It’s just that I’ve been celebrating the news that Sheringham’s footie boys, like our very own Norwich City lads have reached top of their league table this year. So with that in mind does this mean, like the Norwich lads, a grand promotion to higher and better things? I do hope so. Perhaps then we’ll see even more sponsorship advertising slogan boards around the pitch than adorn it already. I guess that if this does mean promotion, then in theory, hypothetically, in a few years time, if they continue their winning streak, they could reach the same dizzy heights as our Norwich cousins and the rest of the big boys. (But enough about me!) Yes we could see our lads playing among the giants with the likes of Man ‘U’. My goodness me imagine that! Sheringham Town playing at home to Chelsea. Me thinks that would create more than a few sticky bun problems for the town planners wouldn't’ you? So Town regeneration committee think on!

So for a start where would we house the new much needed larger stadium? Well that’s an easy one. That would simply be placed on the common, newts permitting as up until now “it” seems to have disappeared! (The common that is and not “the” Newt!) Sorry about that but the Tesco boys are still looking for proof! Anyway I am digressing. Now where was I? Oh yes, premiership football and the hosting of it’s numerous needed facilities. As a whole there’d be no need for extra burger joints, sandwich bars, cafeterias and coffee bars that don’t serve just a coffee at lunch times. But we would need a now much needed new host for the town centre public house, as the Robin Hood now resembles a squat or Maxine Carr's latest abode! (The boarding for security).

There’d be no need for extra parking in town or at our new stadium as all the away fans could travel in by coach or train and the coaches could rest up outside all the school entrances like they do now! On school days, at least then it would stop any unwanted car parking by parents! All the other visiting fans could park up and use the park and ride facilities our friendly cousins at Cromer would lend us. I.e. Their cliff top car park on match days Easton's and Sanders could fight over who was actually going to bother to turn up for ferrying the passengers by bus. Unless of course you happen to be someone important, in which case you would have the luxury of the use of the local air ambulance we’ve all raised so much money for when it wasn’t in emergency service. We could rent it out to VIPs who would then land on the heliport on top of the new Tesco store roof.

Then all these “special constables” (I stand corrected) that usually grace our town centre on Friday and Saturday evenings will be able to put their unpaid bodies to good use controlling the hoards of Millwall fans or any other International/England games. As they now should have had enough experience of Sheringham hooligans to last a lifetime! And then who knows where it could lead? Perhaps we could be hosting the Olympics in 2020? Just think we could already hold the swimming competition at the Splash as long as it was for midget competitors.

Oh come on be fair, equal rights these days and all that. We could hold the first Gay Olympics tossing the caber at Pretty Corner and new for 2020 the triple wheelie bin jump and the marathon dusting championship for househusbands. Plus competitions for fathers rights campaigners with a good arm for the shot put and asylum seekers or anyone else who might feel alienated as a minority in our society.
With all these minorities it must beg the question exactly who is in the majority any more? Well in Sheringham that’s easy to answer.   It’s pensioners and newly early-retired folk who mostly like to keep fit. Well now they can with the new Tesco shopping trolley. It’s said it is harder to push than normal ones thus affording the shopper to exert more energy during their shop thus burning up 300 calories a go. My question is, what trolleys in God’s name did they compare these trolleys too? Most of the ones I’ve ever tried to push have cost me half my body weight in one shopping trip already; they didn’t need to be any more difficult to handle. It’s no wonder that I always end up purchasing half the lard supply in the store to make up for it! Off their trolly(ies?) Yes indeed. So they think it’s all over, and I’m sorry to say SCAMROD, it is now! Ta ta for now,
Take care Vic.
JUDGE DISMISSES BUDGENS CHALLENGE
Sheringham Community Paper
LAMB URGES POST OFFICE TO RECONSIDER ELECTRICITY CARDS POLICY
Following a recent meeting with a Powergen representative, North Norfolk Lib Dem MP Norman Lamb has called on the Post Office to review this policy which appears to be preventing sub-post offices from selling Powergen meter cards.

"Powergen is happy for individual sub-post offices to continue providing disposable and 'top-up' meter cards despite the agreement with Post Office Ltd having finished," said Mr Lamb. "Selling these cards provides sub-post offices with extra income, from the cards themselves and from the greater volume of overall custom generated by the card customers.

"However, I understand that the Post Office has written to sub-post offices warning them against taking part in the Powergen scheme, and suggesting that participating could result in the loss of their Post Office franchise."

Norman Lamb has written to Post Office Chief Exec David Mills to ask for confirmation of this position. Mr Lamb added: "If this is the case, then I hope the Post Office will immediately reconsider so sub-post offices can start selling Powergen cards to their customers again."
Diary Date:
Alternative Carnival Queen Competition
23 July - Watch this space for details
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