||Hello and welcome to another summer edition of
Now pray excuse me whilst I give out a yell of jubilation and excitement, Hooray! And
Yippee! And to finish this exultation, maybe a soccer song or two like
footballs comin home. Oh Im sorry, please dont despair
I havent gone totally gaga just yet, but Im working on it!
|Its just that Ive been celebrating the news
that Sheringhams footie boys, like our very own Norwich City lads have reached top
of their league table this year. So with that in mind does this mean, like the Norwich
lads, a grand promotion to higher and better things? I do hope so. Perhaps then well
see even more sponsorship advertising slogan boards around the pitch than adorn it
already. I guess that if this does mean promotion, then in theory, hypothetically, in a
few years time, if they continue their winning streak, they could reach the same dizzy
heights as our Norwich cousins and the rest of the big boys. (But enough about me!) Yes we
could see our lads playing among the giants with the likes of Man U. My
goodness me imagine that! Sheringham Town playing at home to Chelsea. Me thinks that would
create more than a few sticky bun problems for the town planners wouldn't you? So
Town regeneration committee think on!
So for a start where would we house the new much needed larger stadium? Well thats
an easy one. That would simply be placed on the common, newts permitting as up until now
it seems to have disappeared! (The common that is and not the
Newt!) Sorry about that but the Tesco boys are still looking for proof! Anyway I am
digressing. Now where was I? Oh yes, premiership football and the hosting of its
numerous needed facilities. As a whole thered be no need for extra burger joints,
sandwich bars, cafeterias and coffee bars that dont serve just a coffee at lunch
times. But we would need a now much needed new host for the town centre public house, as
the Robin Hood now resembles a squat or Maxine Carr's latest abode! (The boarding for
Thered be no need for extra parking in town or at our new stadium as all the away
fans could travel in by coach or train and the coaches could rest up outside all the
school entrances like they do now! On school days, at least then it would stop any
unwanted car parking by parents! All the other visiting fans could park up and use the
park and ride facilities our friendly cousins at Cromer would lend us. I.e. Their cliff
top car park on match days Easton's and Sanders could fight over who was actually going to
bother to turn up for ferrying the passengers by bus. Unless of course you happen to be
someone important, in which case you would have the luxury of the use of the local air
ambulance weve all raised so much money for when it wasnt in emergency
service. We could rent it out to VIPs who would then land on the heliport on top of the
new Tesco store roof.
Then all these special constables (I stand corrected) that usually grace our
town centre on Friday and Saturday evenings will be able to put their unpaid bodies to
good use controlling the hoards of Millwall fans or any other International/England games.
As they now should have had enough experience of Sheringham hooligans to last a lifetime!
And then who knows where it could lead? Perhaps we could be hosting the Olympics in 2020?
Just think we could already hold the swimming competition at the Splash as long as it was
for midget competitors.
Oh come on be fair, equal rights these days and all that. We could hold the first Gay
Olympics tossing the caber at Pretty Corner and new for 2020 the triple wheelie bin jump
and the marathon dusting championship for househusbands. Plus competitions for fathers
rights campaigners with a good arm for the shot put and asylum seekers or anyone else who
might feel alienated as a minority in our society.
|With all these minorities it must beg the question exactly
who is in the majority any more? Well in Sheringham thats easy to
answer. Its pensioners and newly early-retired folk who mostly like to
keep fit. Well now they can with the new Tesco shopping trolley. Its said it is
harder to push than normal ones thus affording the shopper to exert more energy during
their shop thus burning up 300 calories a go. My question is, what trolleys in Gods
name did they compare these trolleys too? Most of the ones Ive ever tried to push
have cost me half my body weight in one shopping trip already; they didnt need to be
any more difficult to handle. Its no wonder that I always end up purchasing half the
lard supply in the store to make up for it! Off their trolly(ies?) Yes indeed. So they
think its all over, and Im sorry to say SCAMROD, it is now! Ta ta for now,
Take care Vic.
DISMISSES BUDGENS CHALLENGE
URGES POST OFFICE TO RECONSIDER ELECTRICITY CARDS POLICY
|Following a recent meeting with a Powergen
representative, North Norfolk Lib Dem MP Norman Lamb has called on the Post Office to
review this policy which appears to be preventing sub-post offices from selling Powergen
"Powergen is happy for individual sub-post offices to continue providing disposable
and 'top-up' meter cards despite the agreement with Post Office Ltd having finished,"
said Mr Lamb. "Selling these cards provides sub-post offices with extra income, from
the cards themselves and from the greater volume of overall custom generated by the card
"However, I understand that the Post Office has written to sub-post offices warning
them against taking part in the Powergen scheme, and suggesting that participating could
result in the loss of their Post Office franchise."
Norman Lamb has written to Post Office Chief Exec David Mills to ask for confirmation of
this position. Mr Lamb added: "If this is the case, then I hope the Post Office will
immediately reconsider so sub-post offices can start selling Powergen cards to their
Alternative Carnival Queen Competition
23 July - Watch this space for details