At Sheringham situated on the North Norfolk Coast in England UK - Our community newspaper online
@ Sheringham Community Paper Issue No 46 - Friday 18th February 2005 - Choose another issue
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Sheringham Community Paper Hello again good @ Sheringham readers. And welcome to Feb. Yes well it can only get better. Oh yes, it’s official January 24th was the most dreary and depressing day of the year. And just how do we know such a thing? Well that’s easy ‘cause some sad Uni. Algebra freak came up with the equation and the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything! Even I could have told him it was 42.
Well that’s enough of hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy and we move swiftly on. Now what was it Oscar Wilde wrote? Oh yes, “There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. And boy oh boy wouldn’t he love the latest controversy in this dainty little provincial backwater? Yes, all you serious theatre buffs and raincoat brigade, this is your moment and your chance to book the front row seats of the Little Theatre as soon as you can. As I’m sure you’ll all be wanting to ensure you get to espy the gripping full frontal nudity that Salome has to offer.

Now then I know that some of you, well quite few actually, found this news quite disturbing and upset the good-taste mongers, feeling that this performance belittled the tastefulness and integrity of the town. But you know, in all fairness, the Little Theatre programme did warn you just what was entailed and to be quite frank isn’t it about time you all got abreast of the situation? Sorry, just my little booby joke there, oh there I go again. Please somebody stop me! MAUD! PASS ME MY PRESCRIPTION! Personally I can’t for the life of me figure out what all the fuss is about really. I mean it’s not as if it’s the first time we’ve had bare uncovering of the female form. For example if my memory serves me correctly, Stage Direct’s courageous Linda Clements bared her upper curvature in Nell Dunn’s Steaming a year or two ago with no ill effects and which, as I recall never raised any more than the blood pressure of the old chap on the front row! That little revelation, unlike today’s, did not make the national broad sheets.

And that was not all that put Sheringham on a wider footing. On Jan.18 2005 Sheringham made the 10-o clock National news. Firmly and indelibly broadcasting our good selves to the greater populous. However I believe it served not only as a register of the anti Tesco feeling but also a useful boost to Tesco’s ever increasing profit margins. I was interested that very few of the interviewees that expressed a negative attitude actually spoke with any sort of local accent! And of course with the lack of news on that sore subject it’s all become as exciting as a 40 thousand-pound cruise of the Solent! As beautiful as the Isle of Wight is, if one only had a 10 thousand-pound cabin without so much as a porthole, the view probably became as stimulating as watching the ink dry on your tattoo. And there endeth the lesson, you see what they should have done, is taken a modest journey over to sunny Sheringham and booked themselves in to one of Sheringham’s newest ventures for a creative tattoo or body piercing all of their own. I for one can hardly wait. But as yet haven’t worked out exactly where to etch the permanent work of art. However on sleeping on it. I awoke in a cowardly cold sweat. Bemused as to just why anyone with an ounce of brain, would want to impale upon his or her person, a metallic nail. Adorned with semiprecious jewels or otherwise, through their navel, ear, eyebrow, cheek, lip, tongue and dare I say it, delicate little places where the sun nee shineth oft. I only hope the young naked nubile lady in Wilde’s March production hasn’t any sparkling ornaments as the reflections from the follow spot might just blind the ladies in the back row to say the least. But all joking aside I wish do wish them well and good luck to them (That’s the new tattoo shop not the ladies in the back row! Oh you know what I mean)

Well talking of new business coming to town. I hear we are soon to welcome Done into our fold. Thus taking the place of Hunts the outfitters. (No Tesco involvement there) Now it depends on your perspective on this one, and just how you pronounce “ Done” as in “with a magic E “ or “Dun” as in brown, but I suspect the latter, for some, feel we (the town) have been.
The change of use, we were led to believe was for the financial or catering related industries. This as it turns out, to our NNDC planners, means glorified bookies falls into one or other of those categories. So I guess my new proposed lap-dancing club/ brothel will be filed as recreational educative elements of health, fitness, and catering and light entertainment. And so I see from my travels that the Sheringham Development Co. have at long last courteously now cleared the ground in Cremer Street in readiness for my new venture!! NO ! NO! Only kidding! (Don’t want any letters) And oh how I marvelled on how clever it was for these skilful planners in managing to encompass a small village within the confines of a second class postage stamp! But more on that next time perhaps.

Well that’s it for this time folks, hope you all have a great Valentines Day.   Take care now. Vic.
What Choice Do You Have?
Have you heard of the Government’s health initiative called ‘Choose and Book’? Do you know what it means? How will it work in North Norfolk? What difference will it make to you and your family? If you want to find out the answers to these questions and more, come along to a meeting in public of North Norfolk Patient and Public Involvement Forum at 2 pm on Friday 11th February in Cromer Parish Hall, High Street, Cromer. Dr Rob Colebrook of North Norfolk Primary Care Trust has been invited to talk to the Forum and the public about ‘Choose and Book’ and to answer questions about how it will work and what it will mean for local people. If you would like to raise questions through the Forum in advance or find out more information, please contact Julie Colebrook, the North Norfolk PPI Forum Facilitator on 01603 774324 or e-mail julie.colebrook@nvsppifso.org.uk
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