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@ Sheringham Community Paper Issue No 55 - Friday 28th October 2005 - Choose another issue
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Sheringham Community Paper
Hello and solicitous welcomings to you all.  Well here we are, well on the way to the run up to that nasty "C" word.  Christmas. Yes, I'm afraid that wherever we turn now there is the chiming of Christmas spirit, all be it autumn time, all around us.   Last years unsold wrapping paper is "on sale" even before the official mid-season sales get underway, so it won't be very long now before we start to see the mince pies and Christmas pud, with November sell by dates whizzing off the shelves as well.  Yes it's all about as depressing as watching an England football world cup qualifier.  Still I suppose, to give the boys credit they finally beat somebody the other night all be it without their beloved "Becks".

Now then what's been happening in town since I last reported?  Well not a lot it would seem.  It's all about as exciting as watching paint dry.  However mine ears have heard that this Tesco business is about as finished as an episode of Eastenders never having a punch up.  I am now told that this saga may go to some court or other to examine the full legalities of the council's final decision.  Yawn, yawn, yawn.   Not only that but there are now questions about the survival of the Budgens stores up and down the land, so maybe we will soon be left with just the little old Co-op.   Even more of a reason to shop at Norwich then, as trying to park at Morrisons is becoming somewhat of a teeny weenie problem.  In so much as there's not enough spaces most of the time - and they say there's no need for a food store here?  This shower of decision-makers must have come down from the planet Zog if they honestly don't believe there's a need to service my culinary requirements by means of a big store here in Sheringham.

Big brother's Craigy boy's salon has a new owner I see, lets hope the new incumbent(s) behave a little more politely and reverently than the last, still it's nice to see the shop space not being turned into another gift space selling plastic clocks and cheap crackers.  Talking about cheap cracks that's one thing this mag. could do with, a little joke of the month column what do you think?  Personally I'd like to suggest it had the corniest joke or the worst joke as most of my little wise cracks and witticisms seem to get worse and worse it would be interesting to see if any one out there could better them.  I saw a sign once in a lavatory that read, "We aim to please, will you AIM too please" which I confess amused me so much at the time that it impaired my shot and it achieved the very opposite reaction to what it was hoping for.  The motto being there be careful what instructions you give to folk in vulnerable sites in public lavatories.  Not only that you may have read some issues ago that there is a sign on the side of the road in Weybourne that states "please go slowly round the bend", another example if not a slightly ambiguous instruction to the proper meaning.  Similarly why is it that at many approaches to schools do we often see the sign "Slow children"?  How can we expect our kids to be educated in the English language when the road signs don't actually say what they mean?   Mind you, there are many drivers, around here especially, that don't take any notice of the signs that are there anyway.  Whether it be the speed limit ones or the double yellows etc etc.  There are times, down parts of the High Street, I wish I were driving a light tank in order to ensure my unhindered path along the thoroughfare of the north end of the town.  When are blue badge holders going to realise that you can park on double yellows but not when it causes an obstruction?  I should like to state my passage has definitely been obstructed lately.  And no I don't need to visit the pharmacist!  I would, however, like to propose a new "council laxative" sign to clear these persistent offenders or even better, please please, please make that stretch one way only or pedestrianise it.  And if you'll pardon the pun I hope some council member will pass a motion soon to rid the town of this terrible blockage problem once and for all.  Saying that, I think I speak for most locals when I say what a pleasure it is to be able to gain control of the pavements again after what must have been one of the busiest summers on record.  Even without the sunshine, crowds swarmed and swelled to almost overwhelming numbers that it took Nan twenty minuets go get out of Mr. 50p's on her mobility machine.  Three squashed small children and a Jack Russell later and she was on her way.  It was amazing how many points she could amass on a good day on a quick trip to the Co-op.  The smaller and faster the moving targets are the more points she collected.  But you have to remember that you are disqualified from the competition if you crash off the pavement or drive over elderly folk with Zimmer frames.

Right that's it for this time, I'm off to the newly opened shopping centre in Norwich to see what bargains I can find before the Christmas sales set it.  Don't want any of this old rubbish that they just bring out for that.  See you all next time.  Oh and don't forget to send me in your favourite tummy tickler you've no longer any use for, and I don't mean the other half either.  See you soon.  Take care now Vic.


SHERINGHAM EVENING WI

Members and friends of Sheringham Evening W.I. enjoyed home-made biscuits at the coffee morning held last week in aid of Macmillan Cancer Relief at the home of the Institute secretary, Maureen Cook.  Thanks to everyone who helped by making biscuits, providing items for the Bring and Buy table and Raffle and supporting the event, a total of 303 was raised for cancer care in North Norfolk. Celia Dolton.

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